Sui Caedere.

Hello? Is this it? Am I dead, already? Sigh. Disappointing.

The gash on my wrist is long and red. My hand floats on the water as I lie lazily lifeless in my bathtub. I cannot seem to find the blade which did the deed. I remember the sharp pang which flooded my brain when I slashed the cold steely blade along the length of my vein. Along the vein, of course; cutting across the vein rarely ever kills a person. The pain was short lived – the hallucinations lasted forever.

I float above this pathetic scene. Through the cracked rooftop of the shady apartment where I spent my last few days wallowing in self misery and heroin. There, floating high in the sky, I look down on the wretched, solipsistic, narcissistic mass of humanity. There were my murderers. There were the victims. Going about their monotonous lives. Trying to give it some meaning; some reason to everything that they do. Deluding themselves by saying that their insignificant lives somehow matter in the great scheme of thing. That, somehow, their 9 to 5 jobs, their BMWs, their kids, their degrees, their grades, their relationships, their money, their property, their lives on a tiny planet revolving around a small yellow star in the outer reaches of one of the billion galaxies in this Universe, holds some meaning. I wasn’t part of them, now. I was finally free. I would be happy, content – but I don’t feel a thing anymore. Debitum Naturae. The debt of nature has finally been paid.



His footsteps were heavy and measured. His long coat drenched completely in the rain as he walked on the deserted street. If you were there with him, you would have tried to stop him. But it was already too late…

Tears run down his cheeks as he twirls his gun in his hands. He has no choice after all. He knows this well and he’s prepared.

It wasn’t meant to be this way. His life was meant to be perfect. “Normal”. But of course, he was too messed up to accept normality, to join the rat race and now he’s ruined everything. And that was when he began to hear those voices. He tried to make them stop. Punching walls till his knuckles cracked and blood splashed on to the walls – little spots of crimson that wouldn’t wash off no matter how much he scrubbed, much like the voices.

And now this was his only choice. The only way to stop himself from going insane. The time was fast approaching – he could hear the gentle sobbing coming from the room across the hall. He cocks the magazine into place and enters the room.

As he closes the door, a soft voice cries “Daddy, I knew you’d come to save me.”



So finally, WB has answered our prayers and announced yesterday that they will be releasing a Superman/Batman movie in 2015. Yay! Subtle hints were dropped as to what the plot of the movie could be and I couldn’t help but think about it. So here’s my take on the plot of the movie. Now, to wait 2 more years and see how right I was 🙂

The Plot:

Notice that Batman’s logo almost looks like the one from The Dark Knight Returns.

During the official announcement on Saturday, 20.07.2013, Harry Lennox read the following the quote from Frank Miller’s The Dark Knight Returns: “I want you to remember, Clark, in all the years to come, in all your most private moments, I want you to remember my hand at your throat,” Lennox read, quoting Frank Miller’s “Dark Knight Returns.” “I want you to remember the one man who beat you.”

Zack Snyder said “We’re not adapting this thing but it will help us tell you something.”

Keeping these things in mind, we might try to deduce the plot. Here’s my take on the plot:

Superman is pursuing a criminal in Metropolis. Batman, meanwhile, is still in retirement but is following the actions of Superman very closely for Batman always believed that Superman’s great powers and his utmost sense of morality will cause him to do something which does not fit in the picture of greater justice that Batman aims for. Superman does something that Batman does not approve of and he intervenes. Meanwhile, we learn that Batman has asked Lucius Fox to synthesize/procure Kryptonite. We then have a showdown which ends in an impasse and then, Batman verbally molests him and makes him see the flaws in his ways. They then proceed to neutralize the threat and I like to think that in the end, Batman saves Superman’s life and that’s how Batman gains the utmost respect from Superman. After that, they part ways as friends, thought Batman would not like to admit that. The last scene could also be a cliffhanger, something that would call for the formation of a Jutice League. 😉

P.S: There have been rumours that the prime antagonist in the upcoming movie is Lex Luthor. Let’s hope!

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A Repost

I still consider this to be one of my best piece and so it had to part of this blog. I wrote this on the night of April 9th, 2012 and had to correct quite a lot of errors the next day before posting it as a note on Facebook. It intrigues me how the human body and the brain can inflict pain on others  as well as itself. We hear stories of people into self mutilation and almost always consider them to be the social outcasts, to be shunned by the more “normal” populace. The reason as to what triggered this extreme reaction, is frequently overlooked. There is a very thin line between the “normal” way of life and the dark side; a little push is all it takes.

P.S: You could “try” watching Requiem for a Dream.

Back To Black

Here endeth, because there will be nothing hereafter. I can be sure of it cause the air smells of death, and so does he. I can hardly see him, sunlight barely passes through the windows now made opaque, but he stands out as paradox in this urban graveyard, a paradox which will soon be resolved. The air is damp, unbreathed and confined for years but he doesn’t care; one rarely criticizes ones last breaths. An eerie smile cracks on his lips and slowly he rolls up his sleeves. The objects kept by his side are arranged with an almost surgical precision and include a stainless steel switchblade, slices of raw lemon and a pair of latex gloves. The smile doesn’t fade and he slowly slips his hand into the gloves. Holding a piece of lemon he squeezes it into straight into his nose. It’s strange because at the same time i feel a terrible irritation, a terrible pain hitting my senses like an avalanche. The pain magnifies till it’s interrupted by another conflicting feeling of something slashing my wrists open, the pain is ice cold. Another shot into the nose and it feels as if my brain is in an internal conflict with itself and in the end a deep numbness prevails. And a sound- plink, pause, plink, pause… Everything fades to black and there was nothing at the other side.

First Post Blues

I registered for this URL almost a month back and have been sitting on it since. Any attempt to write the first post was met with all-pervading blankness. I voiced my concern to a friend who promptly suggested that I was going through a “Writer’s Block”. Yea, a perfectly valid diagnosis in all sense, except for a small flaw: I am no writer. But then, there are times when you suddenly feel extremely creative and today was such a day. And so here I am, writing my first post on my very own blog.

So who am I what is this blog all about?

“This and that and everything in between”. That’s it.

I am a student currently pursuing his B.Tech in Computer Science from Manipal Institute of Technology. Manipal is a strange town. A potpourri of many different cultures and lifestyles. If you think college life is fun, you should definitely listen to what I have to say about life in Manipal. I’m a novice programmer who loves to participate in coding competitions and has a strong affinity to Java and an inexplicable hatred for Python. Also, I am a self confessed foodie who swears by cheese. One wonders how I managed to stay sub 55 kilos in college. And then, I am the Dovahkiin, whose life I have been leading since December 2011.

So there you have it. Almost 10% of who I really am and what you can expect to read on this blog. But then, who knows? It’s called “Ruminations of a Chaotic Mind” for a reason!